Still Missing Little Missy

I miss Little Missy. I've been choking it back, but it's still there, right in my chest, behind everything I do or say.

Thinking it would make it easier for me, I broke down and contacted her Dad the other day. He said she's doing better than he expected, that she smiles and laughs a lot, that she's as strong as an ox. He also said that she's as big as her 18-month-old sister, and he thanked me for being "such a great Mommy."

For whatever reason, I don't feel much better. In fact, last night I dreamt that he took off without the car seat and had his friend hold her instead. The day before, I dreamt an old, irresponsible friend was her father, and I was yelling at him: "You don't deserve her!" So, I still worry about her safety. I assume that my feelings are normal, and that they'll abate with time.

Thank goodness I have Little Mister to keep me busy. He's such a sweet and wonderful baby - a true dream baby. He always seems to know when I'm sad, and he'll make sure to do something adorable so that I'll start smiling.

My older boys are also being extra sweet. I know they miss her. Yesterday, my seven-year-old said, "I'm so glad that Little Mister is our baby and that we get to keep him." That says a lot coming from a seven-year-old. My oldest tells me he's happy that she's back with her family, but I know he still talks about her to his friends.

All in all, it really was a good experience for all of us. And I know we will do it again. Hey, it's only been two weeks. I think we're doing pretty well considering.

Now to banish those bad dreams...