Apparently this is World Breastfeeding week. Who knew?
For the record, I have nursed all five of my boys, for approximately two years each. This was not the conscious decision of a Militant Mom; rather, it was a decision made based on how it was going at the time, how it seemed to benefit each child, and when my next long-term business trip was versus how old my toddler was.
I think this makes me somewhat of an expert. Especially when I've met with resistance on so many levels, and had so many issues that I managed to muddle through. If I can do it, so can you!
Myth #1: Breastfeeding is natural/easy/only hurts if you're doing it wrong. This one nearly harpooned me right off the bat. I don't care what the experts say: It simply isn't true for all Moms that it doesn't hurt unless the baby is not latched on correctly.
When I was eight months pregnant, my Mom went to a maternity store to buy me a nursing nightgown. The woman who rang her up said: "Keep the receipt - my daughter gave up after a week of trying and returned her breast pump unopened."
This statement caused my Aries self to puff out her chest and throw out those free bottles and cans of formula that the hospital sent me home with. I read everything I could so that I'd be fully prepared. I examined photographs of the right way and the wrong way to latch a baby on, read all of the stories, and then went online and "spoke" to moms who were actually successful for their tips.
In the hospital, I nursed my firstborn right away and refused all bottles. He slept in my room, and I nursed him frequently, on demand. When he didn't seem latched on deeply enough, I used my pinky to break the suction, as demonstrated by my Lactation Consultant, then had him relatch deeper.
By Day 3, my milk had still not come in, and my firstborn, bless his heart, was nursing for 50 minutes at a time, while demanding to be fed at the top of every hour. Yes, you read this correctly: I got a ten-minute break every 50 minutes. Worse, I was as sore as a woman could possibly be: My nipples were an angry red, and my son was breast obsessed. I spent that first night home at my Mom's house so that she could help me out while my husband cleaned and sterilized our apartment (it was a disaster when I went into labor 15 days early). When I begged her to hold him at midnight so that I could grab a snack, he started crying right away. After ten minutes of his crying, my Mom looked at me and said,"I think he's thirsty." DUH!!!! I immediately called my husband and told him to "pick me up, NOW." He showed up at the door, said, "Sorry, Mumsy," and took us home. He then rocked my firstborn in his carseat for 20 minutes until he fell asleep, placed the carseat safely inside of the crib, then rubbed my back until I fell asleep. Ahhhhhhh.
Helpful hints:
- Babies are all different. Some nurse frequently, some nurse more sporadically. Follow your baby's lead.
- Buy Lansinoh IN ADVANCE. Use it frequently. It will help (though it won't always prevent soreness).
- Milk can take up to 7 days to come in. Even for #5, who drank every hour on the hour, my milk did not come in until Day 6 1/2, and trust me, he was mighty angry about that. Have patience; it will come in. **Note: If you don't see your baby swallowing and he/she starts to get listless, a bottle of formula may be necessary. Please, if you are nursing, choose a supportive pediatrician, and bring the baby in on Day 3 and Day 7 to be evaluated by his or her doctor.
- Some women will not get sore. Other unlucky ones, like me, will get VERY, VERY SORE no matter what you do. For my first child, it took two-and-a-half months for it to start to go away. Yes, I said two-and-a-half MONTHS. I don't care if you are the President of La Leche League, all of the intervention by a certified lactation consultant did NOT help me. I was still sore. I PROMISE YOU, THOUGH, IT WAS WORTH HANGING IN THERE FOR. Once the soreness went away, the benefits (which I will list at the end of this blog), outweighed the problems tenfold. And with each baby thereafter, the soreness only stuck around for about three weeks.
Myth #2: All hospitals/doctors support breastfeeding and their beliefs all match. HA! Yeah, right. After nursing #1 for 21 months, I became pregnant again, miscarried at 11 1/2 weeks, then became pregnant with #2. Being a pro, I knew that there were no problems that could possibly crop up for me.
I used a different doctor for #2, and sometime between my fifth month and my ninth, he advised me that I had to have my baby in a different hospital. He lured me in with tales of their new maternity ward and the fact that I would have a private room.
Unfortunately, my nursing experience at this new hospital.....sucked eggs. If this were my first child, I wouldn't have lasted a day. First, the pediatrician affiliated with my new OBGYN who did the initial exam on my baby told me over and over again: "It's okay to give the baby a bottle right away if you feel you aren't making enough milk." Over and over and over again. It was a load of crap, but luckily, I knew better.
Second, after getting #2 to latch on successfully and keeping him with me for a couple of hours, the baby went to the nursery for his first exam and initial clean-up. When he came back, he wouldn't latch on. After puzzling over it and trying and trying, I found out that they had given him a bottle of water right before he came in to me. When I questioned the head nurse about this, I was told: "How else could we check to see if he could swallow?" Um, he was swalling great a couple of hours ago!! Nothing I said could convince this woman that they should not have given my baby a bottle of water without my permission. However, now that they "knew he could swallow," I was told that they would not give him another bottle, Scout's Honor.
Unfortunately, there were no Scouts in this hospital. On the second day, the pediatrician-on-call came in to watch me feed him and was quite impressed with how well he was latched on, commenting on how he was happily swallowing and gurgling away. After this observation, I placed my baby into his glass bassinet, which he hated, and rolled him to the nurses station so that I could take a quick shower. "I'll be right back," I said, adding, "He already ate - please do NOT give him a bottle." The nurse who took him from me gave me a dirty look, said, "Oh, you're one of THOSE mothers - we'll just see about that," then immediately took him behind the locked door. Yes, I was nervous, but I was also a mess and absolutely needed to shower.
When I came back to pick him up, the nurse said, "This baby was DYING OF THIRST when you brought him in! He would NOT stop crying! I HAD to give him a bottle of formula!" She then went behind the locked door, leaving me with my now-sleeping baby. UGHHHH! Took me yet another day to get him back on track.
Tips for a stress-free hospital stay:
- Speak with hospital staff BEFORE having your baby. Make sure that their policies are truly supportive of nursing.
- If you live in a small town and don't have the luxury of staying in a hospital where you feel confident that you will have support, put your requests in writing and make sure that everyone agrees.
- Room in with your infant. If you have any doubts about how supportive the staff is, take the time to find the one nurse who IS supportive and bond with her. Then, time your baby's periods in the nursery to match the hours of that nurse.
- Time your showers for when your husband is visiting.
- Find out what days and hours Lactation Consultants are available. For Baby #2, the hospital I stayed in only had one part-time Lactation Consultant, and she was not due to work when I had my baby.
- Reach out to a local LLL group, and make friends with other nursing mothers PRIOR to having your baby. Then, have one visit you in the hospital for moral (and possibly physical) support.
Myth #3: If you have pain, you are "just sore." Either muddle through, or buy some formula. Even if you are like me and just have sensitive nipples, and especially if the pain comes on after your milk has been established, call a Lactation Consultant right away.
Baby #3 was my "Ooops!" (or, as I said when I saw that plus sign, "Oh F*%@!!!!") baby. He was also my miracle baby, my Gift from God, the World's Best Baby. He was georgeous right from the start (no lopsided head or baby acne here), smiled easily and frequently, went to my ENTIRE FAMILY (read: I had breaks!), slept well, and only ate every couple of ours (some stretches were four hours apart). Miracle upon miracles, he even sat in the carriage! My others had to be held, and more often than not, I pushed my packages in the carriage while simultaneously holding my baby. Not #3, though - he happily sat in the carriage for frequent strolls and shopping trips.
At about four months old, though, it started to hurt when he nursed. Mostly in the beginning of the latch, so I thought that maybe he wasn't latching on correctly. How strange - he was nursing so well before that! Then, suddenly, it was HORRIBLY PAINFUL. It feld like he was chewing on glass inside of my nipples. I began to avoid feeding him, dreading that latch on. I wondered how I could wean him, what kind of formula to use....
Finally, I called a Lactation Consultant. She instantly knew what it probably was: Yeast. What? A baby with yeast?? Turned out that the annoying itch I had at the very end of my pregnancy (sorry for the TMI factor), along with antibiotics I was forced to take due to testing positive to some new bug they test for in the 9th month, caused my son to develop thrush. Yep, that was it - there was even a round white patch on his tongue to prove it (though that's not always there, as Baby #5 taught me).
We both had to be treated, which was tough. At first, his pediatrician prescribed Nystatin, and I used Nystatin on my nipples. Three months later, we were still passing it back and forth to each other. Ughhhhh.
After insisting we get something stronger, we both were prescribed the oral Diflucan, and it went away. Poof! Gone! No more problems. Whew! Nursing was enjoyable again.
Tips for Thrush:
- Treat any infections BEFORE you have your baby.
- Call a lactation consultant right away if you have any problems.
- Clean your baby's tongue with a warm washcloth when giving him/her a bath. If that white spot on his tongue doesn't come off, it's thrush.
- If you suspect thrush, or even if baby has no symptoms but nursing is suddenly so painful that you want to wean your baby RIGHTNOW, see your doctor and get treated for it (start with Nystatin on your nipples if you don't see anything on baby's tongue).
- Eat yogurt and go easy on the sugary snacks.
Myth #4: You must use all of the suggested nursing positions, even if they are uncomfortable. No! Make yourself as comfortable as possible when you nurse. I cannot stress this enough.
In the beginning, I tried all kinds of uncomfortable positions that were in the books. It took the two months that I was sore to realize that not all positions are created equal.
Tips for being comfortable:
- Particularly right after the birth, try laying side by side with a pillow against your baby's back to help him/her face you. This one is the most comfortable for me, and I hear it's great after a c-section as well.
- Once nursing is established, you can experiment with differnt positions that change how the baby FACES you. This will help you to avoid getting super-sore in one spot. If something doesn't work for you, though, don't sweat it.
- The Boppy Pillow was invented for nursing a baby in a chair. Try it. If it doesn't work for you, it's still a great investment: The baby can lay on it safely, and then when baby is a bit older, you can sit them up in it for support as they learn to keep themselves upright.
Myth #5: Mastitis is only for cows. Mast-whatis, you ask? Mastitis, I say. That's right, the Udder Disease that cows get can affect ALL nursing moms, regardless of species.
I've never been a good pumper. However, working full-time has necessitated my being sure to pump when I am away from my baby. I have all sorts of tips for working mothers, but when I went away on business after #2, it seems I didn't realize how much milk I was actually making for him.
You see, #2 had that nipple confusion. It may not have happened to a different baby, but MY baby got it right away from the hospital bungling its job in "helping" me to establish my nursing routine. Then, to make matters worse, I let my Mom babysit about a week after I came home due to an emergency, and against my wishes, she gave him a pacifier. Ugh...great for some babies, but bad for my already nipple-confused baby. Worse, she kept giving it to him when we were over but DIDN't TELL ME until I broke down, sobbing to her over the phone that Dylan was refusing to drink, releasing frequently, and crying a lot. Again, every baby is different. My third used the pacifier once in a while, and it helped and was great. But in this case, it was the worst thing for him AND for me.
What does this have to do with Mastitis, you ask? Well - my first business trip away from him, I took my pump with me. I didn't think Dylan drank that much considering that he only drank every 4 hours right from the start, and he also slept great. Turns out, he drank A LOT - it was just concentrated into these infrequent sessions.
As I said, I'm not a good pumper. Even the top-of-the-line pumps don't work very well on my. Still, I pumped religiously while I was away, four times per day, including in a concrete storage room at our Salt Lake City office.
Then I got home, and boy was I FULL OF MILK. I also felt a bit, well....lumpy. What was up with that?? I happily greeted my baby, thinking he would fix whatever was "broken." However, as usual, he kept stopping and taking frequent "pacifier breaks." Drink, milk starts, stop, suck on pacifier, drink, milk starts again, stop, suck on pacifier..... it was awful. I took the wretched pacifier away, but then he refused to nurse AT ALL, screaming and screaming. Ughhhh. I stuck to my most comfortable position, with no variation in how he approached my breast, and kept trying.
Unfortunately, that annoying lump was still there. Then, my breast began to feel hot. Finally, I developed a fever and felt achy and, well, SICK. Turned out that lump was a clogged milk duct, and bacteria had multiplied in there and caused me to develop mastitis.
Tips to relieve clogged ducts and/or mastitis:
- Change positions often. Especially if you already feel a lump! Sometimes if the baby feeds from a different angle, it loosens things up.
- Take hot showers/use a very warm compress/wash cloth. Do this for long periods, then nurse while changing up the positions. When I got this again with #5, I had forgotten about the hot showers. This, plus the first tip, took care of my milk lump right away.
- If you have a fever or suspect mastitis, see a doctor right away. You need antibiotics if you wind up with a bacterial infection.
- Some women swear by cabbage leaves. I have no clue, this was too much of a pain for me, but by all means, cook some cabbage and apply. It can't hurt.
And now, as promised, without further adieu, here is my list of reasons to persevere with breastfeeding and nurse for as long as possible:
The Joys of Nursing
1. You will be relaxed, and you will sleep. I promise. There is a hormone released in your body when you nurse a baby. When your milk comes in, and thereafter, oxytocin will become your best friend. And napping with your baby will be soooo much easier. Even if you don't nap, it will be the best stress break out there. Ahhhhhh.
2. It relaxes your baby. Tantruming baby/toddler? Never fear. Pop out a warm one, and your baby will snuggle up in your arms, sigh, and drink. This works so well, in fact, that my kids are lucky I weaned them at all.
3. No bottles! No cleaning bottles and rubber nipples with a teeny bristle brush! Lazy Moms all over the world, rejoice! The fact that you don't need ANY accessories is a gift.
4. You never have to go downstairs to the kitchen in the middle of the night for a bottle. Ever. Having raised two babies that were in my care versus birthed babies, I can tell you that nothing is worse than getting up in the middle of the night with a crying baby and having to go downstairs for a bottle (they go bad if you bring them up too early - who knew?).
5. You save lots and lots of money. Formula is EXPENSIVE. I learnt this the hard way raising these two babies in my care. And, you run out of formula at the worst possible times. Like, when your local store runs out as well. Because they do run out. Frequently. And then, you must drive to store after store after store to find the only brand that your baby will drink without puking it up all over you.
6. Leaving the house is much easier. Really. No bottles, no formula, no extra formula, no spring water in case one bottle isn't enough, no no guilt over wasted money/formula if everything you brought isn't used and must be spilled out. All you need are diapers, wipes, and a change of clothes just in case. Really. So much easier.
7. Frequent nursers cause your body not to ovulate. What does this mean? No periods! No getting pregnant while still nursing an infant! WOOHOO! Of course, this isn't foolproof, so always work with your OBGYN to determine the best method of birth control for you. And usually, once your baby is on solid foods, or if your baby nurses like Dylan did (read: Every not too often with frequent pacifier breaks - he and #3 are only two years apart), all bets are off. Still, it's nice to have a little break, isn't it?
8. More Points on Weight Watchers. Yes, that's right: You need more food when you nurse, so you can eat more. This is NOT permission to eat enough for an entire other adult person, mind you, but hey - you are feeding another SMALL person, so another 300-500 calories a day is definitely allowed and encouraged, as well as a lot more water.
9. Breastmilk is perfectly formulated for human babies. There, I said it. Out comes the Militant Mom! Seriously, though, it really is best for your baby. Study after study shows that breasfed babies stop eating when they're full without overeating, are less likely to be overweight as adults, are healthier, have less allergies, etc., etc., etc.
10. Breastmilk is environmentally friendly. If you're a tree-hugging, recycling Mom, nursing helps relieve the planet of wastes as a result of formula manufacturing, using bottles and filtered water, using cow's milk (which may have been tainted with antibiotics), etc.
11. Poops are more pleasant. I was going to stop at 10, but then I rememberd this one. Yes, it's true: A breastfed infant's poops don't smell. Formula baby poops do. Something else I discovered with my formula babies: Tinkle smells strongly for formula babies, too. Who knew? Of course, once food is introduced, it's all over. Enjoy it while you can (experts recommend exclusive breastfeeding for about six months, more or less, depending on the baby).
If you're still with me, congratulations! You're ready to have that baby now. All the best to you, and Happy World Nursing Week!
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