The Day the Stomach Turned

This morning, as I completed my sensless blog on school lunches and moved towards the coffee machine to make my 12-year-old son some tea, I made a fatal error: I told my son he could read my blog.

Apparently I forgot about my slightly X-rated post last week. Ughhhh. I still have flashbacks from walking in on my parents as a tween myself. How could I do this to my own son after this horrid experience of my own??

To his credit, he seemed to take it in stride. He giggled a bit, then read the offending lines aloud to me since I had no memory of the posting. Oh. My. Goodness. Looks like I may have to watch my blogs a bit more closely. Or, just hope he forgets the URL. Considering how little my pea brain can actually remember lately, I'm hoping for the latter. At any rate, he has since moved on. I hope.

Then I picked up a voicemail about the Princess. Her Mom is in a new program, and I need to drop her off for a three-hour evaluation with Mom next week. It's a really good program, and it will be supervised, so this should not be a concern for me. Still, she's been especially clingy lately, and it's three hours. THREE HOURS. I'll have to drop off, go back to work, then return for her later on. I hope it's not too much for her.

Suffice it to say, I'm feeling a bit clingy myself today. Unfortunately, I can't afford any downtime (or "coddle-time"), as I have to be emotionally available at work today, then physically AND emotionally available for my children when work is finally over for the day. Whenever that is.

I was just talking to a colleague who I also consider a friend. She decided last week that she needs a vacation and booked a trip to Cancun with her husband. She's going next week.

Let me repeat that: She decided that she needed a vacation, then booked it right away, and will be on her way with her husband in just seven short days.

Do you have any idea the planning involved in taking a vacation with six kids? Not to mention the fact that an eight-person vacation to a destination that is even remotely relaxing, and including food and travel costs, would run us as much as it would cost to lease a small vehicle. Plus, we can't take the Princess on vacation without her mother or father's permission. And, they may or may not say "yes," but given the amount of planning involved and the fact that we don't know how long she will be here with us, it puts us in a real quandary: Do we plan it, then take a chance that she won't be here with us, or that we have a different foster child that we need different arrangements for? Do we not plan it, then regret (again) not having taken a vacation?

Really, though - who am I kidding? Our last vacation was....four years ago. FOUR YEARS AGO. Holy Overdue Vacation, Batman. My poor kids - they fondly remember our trip to the Nick Hotel and still talk about it to anyone who will listen. They bring it up whenever their friends talk about vacations that they have taken. They volunteer information on this vacation to their teachers and to strangers alike. Seems like it's the highlight of their careers as children. Boy does THAT make me feel like Mother of the Year.

Someday we'll go on vacation again. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not even this year or next year. But someday. Just don't be surprised if I return from my vacation as tightly wound as I am today. And considering how much sunblock I wear daily, you won't even notice a suntan.